Sleep is something I never gave much thought about. I love it. If there was ever the opportunity, which was rare, to take a nap, I would. M would often laugh at me if I fell asleep on a Sunday afternoon for an hour or more, but I loved it. I would go to bed at 8:30pm happy as a clam. Yes part of this was because I would go to work at the insane times of anywhere between 5:30-630am... but I didn't mind because I would then be able to leave early. But even if I didn't have to get up that early, I would still go to bed early, just because.
Then when I became pregnant, it was an over flow of people (mostly people who barely know me) would love to say, "Sleep now because you wont later!" or "Try to sleep as much as you can now to prepare!!" Seriously? WTF does that mean? It's not like I have this little piggy bank of sleep hours that I can reach into when I am sleep deprived with a newborn and it will automatically make me feel like I have had 8 hours of sleep when in reality I have had 2. It drove me crazy to hear it. Now looking back, I wish someone would have said to me... Enjoy the uninterrupted sleep, enjoy laying with M in bed on a rainy afternoon, enjoy random weekend naps, and enjoy waking up and going to bed when you want to because that is what I wished I had valued a little bit more. Not to say I wont ever get to do those things ever again... it may be 6 months, or 30 years from now, but they will return lol. But at the end of the day, no one can prepare you for what life, or sleep for that matter will be like once your newborn arrives.
Q came in with a bang I must say. She has set of lungs like her mother with a bizzare calmness of her father. When we first brought her home, we had had maybe 4-6 hours of sleep total from our hospital stay, yet we were running on adrenaline. We were new parents, we were excited, scared, and had absolutely no idea what the hell we were doing. The 2 weeks at home are just a blur, we were in complete survival mode. I loved when people told me to sleep when she sleeps. Which is total bullshit. Sometimes I would be too tired to sleep, imagine that? Or I was so fearful something would happen to her. I would constantly check to see if she was still breathing. I was trying to figure out breast feeding... and there was so much on my mind, sleeping was actually harder than I expected for how utterly exhausted I was, and still am here at 5 1/2 weeks.
I will say though, it does get better. Q is sleeping at night from anywhere from 4-6 hours at a time which is pure bliss. Im not even upset at our 2 or 3am wake up call. In the first few weeks, I would cry, and cry, and cry some more because I was just so tired. We weren't bottle feeding, M was back at work, and the night shift was up to me, which was and still is my choice. Weekends are a different story for M, but during the week, I respect him having to work 10 hour days, with a 50minute commute and since I am at home, I know I can take a mid morning snooze, or an afternoon nap, Q allowing of course : ) So that is what works for us, not saying it's the perfect situation but it is what works for us right now. However, when I go back to work, things will change I'm sure lol
Now that I have been selfish enough to rant about my own sleep deprivation, let me rant about Q for a hot minute. In the first few weeks first time parents have no clue what the hell is going on, and we were no exception. Hell, I am not sure we will ever know or think we know what we are doing with Q. I think we all feel like there will be this magical sense of knowing what to do, but once we got Q home, we had no idea, including the fact that she needed sleep. Embarassing as it is to admit it we screwed up a lot when it came to sleeping and what she needed, and now as we are still slowly but surely figuring her out, we are happier, she is happier, and we are all thankful for that 9-2am stretch we have been getting for the past 6 nights.
We "assumed" that when she was up and crying it was automatically gas or colic, yet interesting enough no one asked us if we thought she was tired. I had Q up for 5 hours straight some days... what was I thinking??? I was obsessed with the clock thinking oh well if I keep her up a little longer she may sleep longer. No, that was wrong in our case with our Q. We have slowly figured out she can do about 2 hours max which includes about 45 minutes of nursing and then an hour or so of play time and then shes ready to go back down. And when she is ready to go back down, she needs to sleep. I also never realized that if she was awakened 20 minutes later after being layed down, the process starts all over for her. That 20minutes restarts her schedule, and she definitely did not get the sleep she needed, therefore, if this happens repeatedly throughout the day, I am screwed come evening time because I know she will be hell on wheels. Yet if I can help her get a good nap (full belly, good play time with stimulation, clean diaper - all before she slows down) we are going to have a great day, most of the time.
So for now, Im going to enjoy the last 5 weeks I have home with her sleep or no sleep. Hopefully we will continue to get good sleep but ya never know. However, I am very hopeful we can still get our 5 hours : ) because it's making all three of us a lot happier in this house!
Monday, February 11, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Quinn's Birth Story Part 2
It was Wednesday morning, January 2, 2013. I woke up, 8 days past my due date, and I felt wet. I immediately went to bathroom, and I thought is this what your water breaking is like? But no, it wasn't constant... I wasn't soaked. I called my doctor and they thought I could possibly leaking amniotic fluid. Me and M packed up the car and went to the hospital... is this it? Is she on her way? No, not yet, there were no contractions, I felt... the same. Results came back and I was not leaking fluid. However, my midwife suggested for me to be induced the next day at 1230am. In about 12 hours I was to return to the hospital and be induced. Originally, this was my biggest fear, I didn't want to be induced, I wanted her to come when she was ready to arrive. But at this moment, I knew we were ready. Me and Q were ready to meet and I felt this was what needed to happen.
We went out to lunch, I came home and napped. My parents were in town and had our pups taken care of and before I knew it, it was midnight. I had been having mild contractions since about 1030pm yet nothing of concern. Then Me and M casually got in our car and drove. We were pretty quiet the whole way to the hospital. We were nervous yet ready as we would ever be, we held hands the entire way there and when we parked, we sat for a minute. This was the last car ride with just us. This was the start of something wonderful, our family growing.
We got out of the car, grabbed our belongings and headed into the hospital. I felt great. The admissions staff was awesome, I was the only patient at that time so it was like the staff was waiting for some action. I filled out a little bit of paperwork, got in my gown, and received my IV line. The wonderful night nurse came back and began setting up for the pitocin, I looked at M and reassured me that it was going to be okay. I had heard horror stories of this drug, of extended labors lasting over 40 hours. I had done my research on it and I trusted my midwife 100%. As the nurse was setting the bag up she asked me sit on the edge of the bed. I sat up... and whoa. Warmness. I instantly knew Q was on her way. I told the nurse, I think my water just broke... she chuckled... lifted up the sheet, and said you're right! It was a relief. I was thrilled. I knew Q was ready, and me and M got the impression that Q's personality was already beginning to show. She didn't want to come out but kind of like, Ugh well if you're gonna make me mom, I'd rather do this on my own kind of thing.
Contractions became consistent in no time. To be honest, I look back and think I could have done this without drugs, but let's discuss what happened that sealed the deal on the epidural. I had talked with the nurse about when I should ask for one, and she said when you're ready and that it would take approximately 20 minutes for the anesthesiologist. A few minutes later, I heard her... not my Q, but the woman across the hall. She came in after me, and apparently she came in at the last minute, and in full on labor. She was screaming, and crying, and to be perfectly blunt she sounded like a wild animal. I immediately began crying, I looked M and told him I couldn't do that, I just cant. I asked for the epidural and I doubt it was 10 minutes before he came in to the room. He was spunky, I liked him immediately. He took one look at me, and I obviously looked upset, as you could still hear the woman screaming across the hall, and said, that will not be you. If I do my job, you will not sound like that. He then got to work, he began telling me about his wife and his three children, which the first two were born naturally and his third his wife decided to get the epidural, and couldnt believe she didn't do it with the first. Before I knew it, I was hooked up and laying down in the bed. I had the ability to increase the meds at anytime, but I could feel the intensity growing and within hours I went from 4cm to 9.5cm. WHOA progress!!! The nurse called my midwife, and by 630am we were ready to start pushing.
I never realized there would be an art to pushing. I was frustrated because no matter how much I read, no matter how much I knew women could push for hours before that baby arrived, I wanted her now and was not comprehending why she wouldn't just come out. They brought a mirror over to try and help motivate me, yet I could see her move forward during a push and when I stopped pushing she went backwards. The midwife finally had to tell me that this isn't TV babies don't just pop out, it takes some time. With her guidance and M's support I pushed for just over an hour an half, which at the time seemed like eternity, and now it seems like a blink of an eye. The incredible part was Quinn moved, kicked, and wiggled throughout the entire process. When she was crowning she was moving. The nurses couldn't believe it. You could actually see her moving her head. I was able to follow my midwife's instructions and delivered a beautiful 8 pound baby girl without a tear. I remember the feeling of finally pushing her head out, and then being told to pause, and then push slowly, and there, she was out, I heard those cries and I was relieved... I was crying and she was immediately given to me... and I knew that this moment would be the single most important moment of my entire life.
I didn't mind that she was covered in slimy goodness... I had her... finally, and for a brief few moments no one else in the world existed but me and her. I then looked at M and saw him cut the embilical cord. We were both crying and I knew they had to get her cleaned up and measured and checked out. M followed her to the other side of the room as my midwife stayed with me. We delivered the placenta, which was a breeze lol and I was cleaned up and in a flash I had her back and began nursing. After about a 1/2 hour or so, I looked at M and we were finally ready to let the parents in, for they had been eagerly climbing the walls of the waiting room. My mom came in first and she was hysterically crying, then M's mom, and she was crying, and then the dads.... it was an incredible day.
We went out to lunch, I came home and napped. My parents were in town and had our pups taken care of and before I knew it, it was midnight. I had been having mild contractions since about 1030pm yet nothing of concern. Then Me and M casually got in our car and drove. We were pretty quiet the whole way to the hospital. We were nervous yet ready as we would ever be, we held hands the entire way there and when we parked, we sat for a minute. This was the last car ride with just us. This was the start of something wonderful, our family growing.
We got out of the car, grabbed our belongings and headed into the hospital. I felt great. The admissions staff was awesome, I was the only patient at that time so it was like the staff was waiting for some action. I filled out a little bit of paperwork, got in my gown, and received my IV line. The wonderful night nurse came back and began setting up for the pitocin, I looked at M and reassured me that it was going to be okay. I had heard horror stories of this drug, of extended labors lasting over 40 hours. I had done my research on it and I trusted my midwife 100%. As the nurse was setting the bag up she asked me sit on the edge of the bed. I sat up... and whoa. Warmness. I instantly knew Q was on her way. I told the nurse, I think my water just broke... she chuckled... lifted up the sheet, and said you're right! It was a relief. I was thrilled. I knew Q was ready, and me and M got the impression that Q's personality was already beginning to show. She didn't want to come out but kind of like, Ugh well if you're gonna make me mom, I'd rather do this on my own kind of thing.
Contractions became consistent in no time. To be honest, I look back and think I could have done this without drugs, but let's discuss what happened that sealed the deal on the epidural. I had talked with the nurse about when I should ask for one, and she said when you're ready and that it would take approximately 20 minutes for the anesthesiologist. A few minutes later, I heard her... not my Q, but the woman across the hall. She came in after me, and apparently she came in at the last minute, and in full on labor. She was screaming, and crying, and to be perfectly blunt she sounded like a wild animal. I immediately began crying, I looked M and told him I couldn't do that, I just cant. I asked for the epidural and I doubt it was 10 minutes before he came in to the room. He was spunky, I liked him immediately. He took one look at me, and I obviously looked upset, as you could still hear the woman screaming across the hall, and said, that will not be you. If I do my job, you will not sound like that. He then got to work, he began telling me about his wife and his three children, which the first two were born naturally and his third his wife decided to get the epidural, and couldnt believe she didn't do it with the first. Before I knew it, I was hooked up and laying down in the bed. I had the ability to increase the meds at anytime, but I could feel the intensity growing and within hours I went from 4cm to 9.5cm. WHOA progress!!! The nurse called my midwife, and by 630am we were ready to start pushing.
I never realized there would be an art to pushing. I was frustrated because no matter how much I read, no matter how much I knew women could push for hours before that baby arrived, I wanted her now and was not comprehending why she wouldn't just come out. They brought a mirror over to try and help motivate me, yet I could see her move forward during a push and when I stopped pushing she went backwards. The midwife finally had to tell me that this isn't TV babies don't just pop out, it takes some time. With her guidance and M's support I pushed for just over an hour an half, which at the time seemed like eternity, and now it seems like a blink of an eye. The incredible part was Quinn moved, kicked, and wiggled throughout the entire process. When she was crowning she was moving. The nurses couldn't believe it. You could actually see her moving her head. I was able to follow my midwife's instructions and delivered a beautiful 8 pound baby girl without a tear. I remember the feeling of finally pushing her head out, and then being told to pause, and then push slowly, and there, she was out, I heard those cries and I was relieved... I was crying and she was immediately given to me... and I knew that this moment would be the single most important moment of my entire life.
I didn't mind that she was covered in slimy goodness... I had her... finally, and for a brief few moments no one else in the world existed but me and her. I then looked at M and saw him cut the embilical cord. We were both crying and I knew they had to get her cleaned up and measured and checked out. M followed her to the other side of the room as my midwife stayed with me. We delivered the placenta, which was a breeze lol and I was cleaned up and in a flash I had her back and began nursing. After about a 1/2 hour or so, I looked at M and we were finally ready to let the parents in, for they had been eagerly climbing the walls of the waiting room. My mom came in first and she was hysterically crying, then M's mom, and she was crying, and then the dads.... it was an incredible day.
8lbs 0oz and 20" long
Didn't take long for her to be a daddy's girl
Look at those cheeks!
On our way home <3 p="">
Monday, January 28, 2013
Q's Birth Story Part 1
Quite a few have asked me about Q's birth story, and I have sent texts, I have talked to a few on the phone, but let's face it... with a newborn there is little time where she is not crying, nursing, or being changed. If she is sleeping, then I am trying to sleep. I plan to post about sleep later : ) Anyways, here we go....
Let's start from the very beginning. Me and Matt had decided we were ready to start "trying" to have a baby. However I have a history of ovarian cysts and some cervical issues which led to a big question, would this be possible? My incredible OBGYN at the time was unsure as well. We had no idea how much scar tissue was on my ovaries, nor did we have a clue as to how strong and dependabasle my cervix was. I could have had ultra sounds done and testing done, but me and my doctor decided you know what, just have fun and see what happens. I was instructed not to worry, not to chart, and not to use an ovulation kit. Just take 6-12 months and have fun with your husband. But how can you not worry? How could I not think about the possibility of having children with my husband may not be in the cards for us. I also had been taking a strong oral contraceptive since I was 17 in order to stop cysts from forming, so what would be the aftermath of that? Or the fact that I had the gardisil vaccine in my 20s, which I had started reading about possible links between this vaccine and infertility. It was just too much and I felt as though we were up against the world. Yet M was so supportive.. We discussed that if 3-4 years went by, we exhausted our options, we could always adopt. And I think his openess to that option relaxed me, and let me know that no matter what, he wasn't going anywhere and we were in this together; no matter what our end result would be.
I took my last birth control pill in February and my cycle started on March 6th and was completely normal. I was instructed to wait 3 months before we were to start trying in order for my cycle to balance itself out and for us to get an idea of my ovulations. So a few days before my following period was to arrive we went to movies for the first time without a rain jacket..... if you get what I mean. Crazy, but me and M were always nervous we would just get pregnant and now when it was time we wanted to, we were petrified it wouldn't happen. We went to the movies a few times that week actually lol. The very next week I thought I had food poisoning, except M was eating everything I was eating and he felt fine. I was late, but figured no big deal, I new it could take weeks for my cycle to return to normal. Then on April 19th, it was a Thursday, I was home alone after work and I thought for a second I could be pregnant. We were set to go away for the weekend to celebrate our 6 months of being married. We were going to hang out in a beautiful suite at Reunion Resort, drink lots of champagne and even hit up one of the local theme parks and ride roller coasters till we were sick. But something else filled my head instead... so I took a test, not a fancy one, just a good old plus or minus (I had a coupon for it lol) and I silently waited. After a few minutes I grabbed the test and saw that it just had one line, a vertical line. Well that can't be right, it wasn't the horizontal negative line but it didn't show the full plus sign. I immediately dismissed it and said some jack ass at the EPT plant screwed up and the test was put together wrong. However, I couldn't get it out of my head... it's all I could think about all night. I went online and began googling, and realized to get the most accurate results you need to take it first thing in the morning. Before going to bed that night I had L (one of our pups) in the back yard. I was looking up at the sky and thinking could I be pregnant. I had yet to say a word to M because I wanted to be sure, I wanted it to be real. M came outside to join me and for the first time in a long time he came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around me and put his hands on my belly and began talking about what a beautiful clear night it was, at that point I knew it... I knew I was pregnant. The next morning, April 20th (Friday) I got up at 4am, took another test, and whoa, within seconds there was that plus sign, clear as the sky the night before. I started crying as I sat in the bathroom and couldn't wait for M to wake up. Ill never forget standing in the kitchen that morning telling him that I think we are pregnant. He was shocked and I think even with the test we couldnt believe it. We figured we would be waiting months possible years for this day, and here it is, 3 weeks later.
Now after finding out you are pregnant, you have to wait a few weeks before a doctor will see you. So in the mean time I was dealing with some nausea and it got really intense when we went on a trip to NYC for M's cousin's wedding. It was so hard to travel with his family, to see mine and know we were carrying a special gift but we couldn't tell anyone. Now we know our families would have supported us 200% if something were to happen. Except we were extra cautious because M's sister experienced a miscarriage one week prior to me and M finding out we were pregnant. And we didn't want to put his family through that again if that were to happen, so our lips were sealed. It became a game with me and M, we would order wine at the restaurants and then M would be drinking from both glasses, we would look at each other and read each other's thoughts. It was our little secret and we had such a good time keeping it. Then on May 9th we flew in from NY and went straight to my OBGYN, and took the official pregnancy testing, and yes were pregnant! Confirmation!
We were so excited but decided to keep a secret for just a few more weeks longer, just to be safe. Grandparents to be were thrilled. I could tell M's parents were slightly torn, they were still trying to cope with what happened to their daughter and trying to hard to be happy for us. I can't imagine how difficult that must of been for them. Mine parents were shocked and so happy and my dad got all akward and Thanked Matt... lol poor dad, he didnt know what to say. At this point I also had to begin reseraching a new doctor/midwife because me and M decided it was not safe for me to be traveling to Melbourne all the time for appointments.
As for my pregnancy, I was truly blessed. Yes I experienced some nausea in my first trimester but not enough to make me vomit and some exhaustion, I napped a lot but nothing I couldn't handle. I would say the worst part of the first trimester was my body changing and shifting, my midsection was getting squishy like and poochy and towards the end I had a difficult time dressing myself. Second trimester, I nailed it. Was swimming 3x/week; walking with the pups, I felt incredible and beautiful. This was an exciting time because at 20 weeks we were going to find out what we were having. I remember walking into the office that day, to be perfectly honest I wanted a boy. I was fearful of having a girl, I was nervous about the drama, I wanted her to be kept safe and not let some boy destroy her. Yet me and M both knew it was a girl. We don't even know why we thought that, but we did, we thought it was a girl from the very beginning and when that ultrasound confirmed it we both laughed and cried happy tears and it's amazing how your heart works. Immediately we couldn't imagine having anything but her. Now my third trimester started off awesome, until about 32 weeks and then began the swelling.... boy o boy was I swollen. I had one pair of shoes that fit, I was peeing every 1/2 hour, but I could eat. The plus side was I was sleeping better than I had ever slept. Little did I know how much I would cherish that sleep later.
Q was due on Christmas day. My favorite time of the year. I wasn't sure about her due date, because speaking for myself I would never want my birthday on Christmas Day, but I knew it wasn't my choice when she was born, she would arrive when she was ready to arrive. My father's birthday 12/14 came and gone, Christmas came and gone, and New Years came and went... yet I was still pregnant. I was frustrated, not so much of being pregnant but for our families. Relatives came in for the holidays wanting to see this beautiful little girl, and she was just not ready. My mom was off for about 2 1/2 weeks for Christmas break and I was so excited to have her around to help us with our new addition, yet she was just not ready. Most of all, M's company shuts down for about 2 1/2 weeks and he would have had all this time to bond with her, to help me, to get adjusted, but she was just not ready. I started to get frustrated with friends and family calling, texting, facebooking, "no baby yet?" I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs profanities inserted into the phrases: "No she's not hear yet!" or "I'm still pregnant!" I know they were just excited, and I am very thankful I have friends and family who care, but it all became to much, I felt as though I was letting everyone down and that what if something is wrong. I was a week late, showing no signs of contractions, I hadn't dropped, and she was barely in my pelvis. Finally my doctor said we needed to discuss induction. I was petrified, but something in my gut said this baby needs to come out, I know she is ready, something is holding her back.
Let's start from the very beginning. Me and Matt had decided we were ready to start "trying" to have a baby. However I have a history of ovarian cysts and some cervical issues which led to a big question, would this be possible? My incredible OBGYN at the time was unsure as well. We had no idea how much scar tissue was on my ovaries, nor did we have a clue as to how strong and dependabasle my cervix was. I could have had ultra sounds done and testing done, but me and my doctor decided you know what, just have fun and see what happens. I was instructed not to worry, not to chart, and not to use an ovulation kit. Just take 6-12 months and have fun with your husband. But how can you not worry? How could I not think about the possibility of having children with my husband may not be in the cards for us. I also had been taking a strong oral contraceptive since I was 17 in order to stop cysts from forming, so what would be the aftermath of that? Or the fact that I had the gardisil vaccine in my 20s, which I had started reading about possible links between this vaccine and infertility. It was just too much and I felt as though we were up against the world. Yet M was so supportive.. We discussed that if 3-4 years went by, we exhausted our options, we could always adopt. And I think his openess to that option relaxed me, and let me know that no matter what, he wasn't going anywhere and we were in this together; no matter what our end result would be.
I took my last birth control pill in February and my cycle started on March 6th and was completely normal. I was instructed to wait 3 months before we were to start trying in order for my cycle to balance itself out and for us to get an idea of my ovulations. So a few days before my following period was to arrive we went to movies for the first time without a rain jacket..... if you get what I mean. Crazy, but me and M were always nervous we would just get pregnant and now when it was time we wanted to, we were petrified it wouldn't happen. We went to the movies a few times that week actually lol. The very next week I thought I had food poisoning, except M was eating everything I was eating and he felt fine. I was late, but figured no big deal, I new it could take weeks for my cycle to return to normal. Then on April 19th, it was a Thursday, I was home alone after work and I thought for a second I could be pregnant. We were set to go away for the weekend to celebrate our 6 months of being married. We were going to hang out in a beautiful suite at Reunion Resort, drink lots of champagne and even hit up one of the local theme parks and ride roller coasters till we were sick. But something else filled my head instead... so I took a test, not a fancy one, just a good old plus or minus (I had a coupon for it lol) and I silently waited. After a few minutes I grabbed the test and saw that it just had one line, a vertical line. Well that can't be right, it wasn't the horizontal negative line but it didn't show the full plus sign. I immediately dismissed it and said some jack ass at the EPT plant screwed up and the test was put together wrong. However, I couldn't get it out of my head... it's all I could think about all night. I went online and began googling, and realized to get the most accurate results you need to take it first thing in the morning. Before going to bed that night I had L (one of our pups) in the back yard. I was looking up at the sky and thinking could I be pregnant. I had yet to say a word to M because I wanted to be sure, I wanted it to be real. M came outside to join me and for the first time in a long time he came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around me and put his hands on my belly and began talking about what a beautiful clear night it was, at that point I knew it... I knew I was pregnant. The next morning, April 20th (Friday) I got up at 4am, took another test, and whoa, within seconds there was that plus sign, clear as the sky the night before. I started crying as I sat in the bathroom and couldn't wait for M to wake up. Ill never forget standing in the kitchen that morning telling him that I think we are pregnant. He was shocked and I think even with the test we couldnt believe it. We figured we would be waiting months possible years for this day, and here it is, 3 weeks later.
Now after finding out you are pregnant, you have to wait a few weeks before a doctor will see you. So in the mean time I was dealing with some nausea and it got really intense when we went on a trip to NYC for M's cousin's wedding. It was so hard to travel with his family, to see mine and know we were carrying a special gift but we couldn't tell anyone. Now we know our families would have supported us 200% if something were to happen. Except we were extra cautious because M's sister experienced a miscarriage one week prior to me and M finding out we were pregnant. And we didn't want to put his family through that again if that were to happen, so our lips were sealed. It became a game with me and M, we would order wine at the restaurants and then M would be drinking from both glasses, we would look at each other and read each other's thoughts. It was our little secret and we had such a good time keeping it. Then on May 9th we flew in from NY and went straight to my OBGYN, and took the official pregnancy testing, and yes were pregnant! Confirmation!
We were so excited but decided to keep a secret for just a few more weeks longer, just to be safe. Grandparents to be were thrilled. I could tell M's parents were slightly torn, they were still trying to cope with what happened to their daughter and trying to hard to be happy for us. I can't imagine how difficult that must of been for them. Mine parents were shocked and so happy and my dad got all akward and Thanked Matt... lol poor dad, he didnt know what to say. At this point I also had to begin reseraching a new doctor/midwife because me and M decided it was not safe for me to be traveling to Melbourne all the time for appointments.
As for my pregnancy, I was truly blessed. Yes I experienced some nausea in my first trimester but not enough to make me vomit and some exhaustion, I napped a lot but nothing I couldn't handle. I would say the worst part of the first trimester was my body changing and shifting, my midsection was getting squishy like and poochy and towards the end I had a difficult time dressing myself. Second trimester, I nailed it. Was swimming 3x/week; walking with the pups, I felt incredible and beautiful. This was an exciting time because at 20 weeks we were going to find out what we were having. I remember walking into the office that day, to be perfectly honest I wanted a boy. I was fearful of having a girl, I was nervous about the drama, I wanted her to be kept safe and not let some boy destroy her. Yet me and M both knew it was a girl. We don't even know why we thought that, but we did, we thought it was a girl from the very beginning and when that ultrasound confirmed it we both laughed and cried happy tears and it's amazing how your heart works. Immediately we couldn't imagine having anything but her. Now my third trimester started off awesome, until about 32 weeks and then began the swelling.... boy o boy was I swollen. I had one pair of shoes that fit, I was peeing every 1/2 hour, but I could eat. The plus side was I was sleeping better than I had ever slept. Little did I know how much I would cherish that sleep later.
Q was due on Christmas day. My favorite time of the year. I wasn't sure about her due date, because speaking for myself I would never want my birthday on Christmas Day, but I knew it wasn't my choice when she was born, she would arrive when she was ready to arrive. My father's birthday 12/14 came and gone, Christmas came and gone, and New Years came and went... yet I was still pregnant. I was frustrated, not so much of being pregnant but for our families. Relatives came in for the holidays wanting to see this beautiful little girl, and she was just not ready. My mom was off for about 2 1/2 weeks for Christmas break and I was so excited to have her around to help us with our new addition, yet she was just not ready. Most of all, M's company shuts down for about 2 1/2 weeks and he would have had all this time to bond with her, to help me, to get adjusted, but she was just not ready. I started to get frustrated with friends and family calling, texting, facebooking, "no baby yet?" I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs profanities inserted into the phrases: "No she's not hear yet!" or "I'm still pregnant!" I know they were just excited, and I am very thankful I have friends and family who care, but it all became to much, I felt as though I was letting everyone down and that what if something is wrong. I was a week late, showing no signs of contractions, I hadn't dropped, and she was barely in my pelvis. Finally my doctor said we needed to discuss induction. I was petrified, but something in my gut said this baby needs to come out, I know she is ready, something is holding her back.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Bad People cause a domino effect...
So since school has started back up in Seminole County I have been quickly reminded of one my biggest pet peeves. No it's not getting stuck behind a school bus or having to cut your speed in half for a school zone... it's kidnappers/pedafiles, etc. Ill explain.
Every morning when I drive to work it is still dark outside and school buses are not picking up students yet. However that doesn't mean students aren't waiting for the buses. When I went to school there was always a group of us hanging out at the bus stop waiting to be picked up by that big yellow beast. Whether we were jocks, popular, nerds, or just plain weird... we looked out for each other. Today, I feel like it's not like that anymore. Now, kids wait in their parents cars.... and I believe it's because of all that crappy and bad people that are out there trying to take people's kids. So what's the pet peeve? These parents park on the side of the street at the entrance of their neightborhoods... where what do ya know there's a traffic light. And since they are parked there waiting on the bus, they set off the sensor making their light turn green, with no one wanting to "Go" except me... who now has the red light.
You may think no big deal... but how annoying is it when it happens 4-5x in a row... on the same road. It's incredibly frustrating and tests my patience so early in the morning. I don't blame the parents, I blame the horrible people in the world that have now casted this shadow of fear that kids can't even wait at the bus stop anymore. So sad.
Every morning when I drive to work it is still dark outside and school buses are not picking up students yet. However that doesn't mean students aren't waiting for the buses. When I went to school there was always a group of us hanging out at the bus stop waiting to be picked up by that big yellow beast. Whether we were jocks, popular, nerds, or just plain weird... we looked out for each other. Today, I feel like it's not like that anymore. Now, kids wait in their parents cars.... and I believe it's because of all that crappy and bad people that are out there trying to take people's kids. So what's the pet peeve? These parents park on the side of the street at the entrance of their neightborhoods... where what do ya know there's a traffic light. And since they are parked there waiting on the bus, they set off the sensor making their light turn green, with no one wanting to "Go" except me... who now has the red light.
You may think no big deal... but how annoying is it when it happens 4-5x in a row... on the same road. It's incredibly frustrating and tests my patience so early in the morning. I don't blame the parents, I blame the horrible people in the world that have now casted this shadow of fear that kids can't even wait at the bus stop anymore. So sad.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Here we are, a few days before my 28th birthday. I can't believe I am going to be 28 years old. I remember turning 5 and having relay races with the double dare game in the living room in jersey, my 13th birthday when I got my own phone line, my 16th when i relived 16 candles and my friends acted like they forgot and it ended with a surprise party, my 21st where i downed flaming dr. peppers and tequila like it my job and now... 28. It's not a very exciting year really just a birthday but hey its better than the alternative right?
Most of my time lately has been revolving around picking an officiant for the wedding, choosing save-the-dates, and crying about my engagement photos. yes that's right crying, not that they are bad pictures (quality wise) but more so me wise. I have officially put on 22lbs since my engagement. Crazy huh? Well I wish I could say I have been living the awesome life full of beer and fried foods and yummy desserts but unfortunately its a side affect to a medication I need. So now what? I have been busting my butt at the gym, trying to eat as healthy as possible without becoming a rabbit, and here I am, the most I have ever weighed in my entire life. And what superb timing too, the year I want to be the most fit, Im the heaviest. Well thank God for Spanx right? lol
The puppies are growing like crazy, well mainly Hazel. Lucy is beginning to realize the size difference and her way of coping is to hump hazel any chance she gets. Dogs... what a funny little life they have. Could you imagine if we wanted to let other people know we were better than them or should I say "in charge" we would hump them? haha.
Most of my time lately has been revolving around picking an officiant for the wedding, choosing save-the-dates, and crying about my engagement photos. yes that's right crying, not that they are bad pictures (quality wise) but more so me wise. I have officially put on 22lbs since my engagement. Crazy huh? Well I wish I could say I have been living the awesome life full of beer and fried foods and yummy desserts but unfortunately its a side affect to a medication I need. So now what? I have been busting my butt at the gym, trying to eat as healthy as possible without becoming a rabbit, and here I am, the most I have ever weighed in my entire life. And what superb timing too, the year I want to be the most fit, Im the heaviest. Well thank God for Spanx right? lol
The puppies are growing like crazy, well mainly Hazel. Lucy is beginning to realize the size difference and her way of coping is to hump hazel any chance she gets. Dogs... what a funny little life they have. Could you imagine if we wanted to let other people know we were better than them or should I say "in charge" we would hump them? haha.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Updated needed.....
It's been forever... so lets update : )
Spring: AMAZING.... finally engaged to the man of my dreams as of 05/15/10.
Summer: Just as great, found our wedding venue and selected our date!
Fall: Got a raise at work, awesome... and continuing the wedding planning (picked bridesmaids, chose our vendors, etc.) Found out next spring, I'll finally be an Aunt!! Woohoo. Went a little crazy and got a second puppy. So now we are the proud parents of a chocolate lab named Hazel.
Here we are, the end of Thanksgiving weekend. Quick points:
My boss is still a jerk off.
My family is crazy.
My friends are still wonderful.
It's sad when you realize some of your best friends from the past will not be at your wedding.
Why do I love sweets so much, they are not helping this weight fall off.
That's all for now...
Goodnight moon.
Spring: AMAZING.... finally engaged to the man of my dreams as of 05/15/10.
Summer: Just as great, found our wedding venue and selected our date!
Fall: Got a raise at work, awesome... and continuing the wedding planning (picked bridesmaids, chose our vendors, etc.) Found out next spring, I'll finally be an Aunt!! Woohoo. Went a little crazy and got a second puppy. So now we are the proud parents of a chocolate lab named Hazel.
Here we are, the end of Thanksgiving weekend. Quick points:
My boss is still a jerk off.
My family is crazy.
My friends are still wonderful.
It's sad when you realize some of your best friends from the past will not be at your wedding.
Why do I love sweets so much, they are not helping this weight fall off.
That's all for now...
Goodnight moon.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
New stuff to read
Sorry, it's been a while. Work has been a living nightmare... I know everyone gossips at some point, but today, my big life lesson was wow, even grown men at the age of 47 gossip and spread rumors. Unbelievable. Anyways, I was messing around on facebook, and I found this group on a friend of a friend's profile. It's basically a wall of links that lead to blogs about mothers who are leaving advice for their daughters. It was amazing. So I think periodically as I find some I like I'll post them on here. So today was a woman who listed 33 things she wanted to pass along to her daughter...
http://chauvi.livejournal.com/18160.html
Hope the links works : )
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